I realize it’s been a while since I posted anything on here about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness… so here goes!
Work has been pretty good recently. There have been many praise reports for me personally from the people I have talked to over time on the street. I am constantly being stretched as a leader and a follower of Christ at this job. There is no room for lukewarm faith here so I have had to play catch up with the level at which God wants me to operate while in NYC. Every day is a challenge.. Every day! If you’ve been here (this blog or in my life) long enough, you know that I have tendencies to shy away from leadership and generally want to take the easy way out. Every day is at least a small struggle for me in that aspect because even if I don’t act on the feeling, it’s still there. I still would rather just return home and watch the office for the 3rd time while eating buffalo wings instead of be a leader to people and intimately talk about the effects of evil in people’s lives. But by God’s grace I continue to show up and he continues to teach me and speak through me and speak TO me. Every day I wake up with breath in my lungs and sanity in my mind I am awed by how God continues to use me.
I am pretty much in the swing of things at NYCR and have just a couple of extras to nail down before I am fully integrated into the outreach system. I had a break down a couple weeks ago when everything came to a head, the physical exhaustion, the emotional drain, the spiritual warfare; but all without relying on God for strength and renewal each day. I realized that I hadn’t been giving God the time of day and therefore had no charger for my spiritual and emotional batteries. I felt the urge to commit my mornings afresh to God and spend time in his presence and before him. The Psalmist says, “In your presence there is fullness of joy, at your right hand are pleasures forever more” and I have found that to be true over the past month. I have been in such a better place emotionally and spiritually since committing to waking up an hour early each day and starting on my knees before the throne. If you haven’t had the energy to do life lately I suggest you take a little bit less time to sleep and a little more time in devotion to our Source of everything! You won’t regret it.
LASTLY and possibly most importantly. God has been moving in crazy and mysterious ways in my life recently and in the life of a coworker Lauren W. We have had time over the past few months to hang out and get to know each other a little bit, but this past weekend we decided to pursue dating! We both have pain and scars of the past but God is so amazing and loving to gently heal those using each other. Just the other night we had the craziest experience ever involving part of her past and it couldn’t have gone better. The salvation from and healing towards that was felt to the core as we processed together what had just happened. We haven’t told too many people yet outside of our work family, so there it is! The funniest and most mysterious thing is how we are total opposites.. I always heard that “opposites attract” but I never believed it until now. There is so much that I want to say about her but I will leave that to the future for now. There’s no way I could have ever planned her, or this, in my life. The healing that God has already done via each other in our lives is amazing. That’s how you know it’s a God thing.
I look forward to everyone meeting this precious soul in the near future 🙂
To not end on a note that makes me sound crazy, I implore each one of you to pray for me as I open yet another door into the future. First and foremost I need prayer for guidance. Guidance in my emotions and my decisions when it comes to Lauren. I also need prayer for the Holy Spirit to lead me in my “dealings” as I like to call them, with her each and every day. I want to honor and respect her for the daughter and heiress that she is and that doesn’t come naturally. I need prayer for deliverance over my sin and for continued purity. I need prayer for patience as I want to go fast. I need prayer for continued deep peace about our relationship that I have already been blessed with!
We are so excited to see what God is going to continue to do in our lives and how he plans on doing it!